The word “difficult” from a simplistic and logical viewpoint is inappropriate to be used for a person, but within the context of this article and for the fact that many identify with it, pardon me. Truth is: even the most “difficult” of persons has but one or few persons who tactfully and easily get around him. So is he really difficult after all?
The radar of this management article is on you, the creative, smart and independent-minded employee working with that typical difficult manager and how you ought to effectively communicate with him, particularly when as the “man on the ground” you see things from a differing perspective and is convinced your way should be the way to go. Managers seem to enjoy cajoling employees into seeing everything from their perspective and doing things as they prefer. Even more disturbing is the fact that, sometimes such moves bring significant costs and implications for the division and the company by extension. Question is: how do you openly yet respectfully disagree with your manager (bearing in mind he is a “difficult” one), skillfully negotiate your idea home and save the division and your manager the reprimand of the CEO?
The following ideas will help:
First, manage your relationship with him well
Being in the bad books of your manager simply empowers him to alienate your views, even when his own intuition clearly suggests to him it is best for the time. Work your way into his heart, preferring to see the saint and not the demon in him. It is clear and uncontestable truth that being the difficult manager that he is, the politics in the office will dictate that you, too, like every other person see the “insensitivity” he demonstrates and not the compassion he is full of. Don’t fall into this impasse. But even more important, in your bid to wining him over, don’t speak ill about others to him; yours is to continually stay positive about who he is and rally around the strategic interventions he initiates for the benefit of the division. Chances are, he will listen to you and occasionally, seek your input owing to your positivist opinion of him. Everybody wields a desire to be loved, noticed, heard out and appreciated. Your difficult manager is indifferent.
Listen first
You want to allow him to fully express his point without rudely interrupting him. Truth is: there is a psychological pulse that tends to induce us to listen less when we fundamentally disagree with someone. Show some emotional intelligence. Listen to the end. Maintain eye contact to show your interest in his point; nod and occasionally pass comments to indicate you understand him.
Don’t openly criticize him
Did you say your manager is difficult? I bet you, he is egoistic and impatient too. Ill-timed and unconstructive criticisms are borne out of excessive emotional upsets, devoid of logical order. Don’t just burst out your feelings, openly at meetings. You deepen your chances of not being heard out when you indulge in open criticism of your boss.
Disagree by showing respect for his viewpoint
After offering him your uninterrupted attention, reassure him of how deeply you care about what he cares about. And then, connect your disagreement to his earlier submission. For example say this: “I understand your enthusiasm about this project, especially because of the great benefits it holds for our division. I am too, sir. But after speaking with our major stakeholders and re-evaluating our previous appraisals, I am informed to think we should delay its take off and build more capacity…..” You have not just objected out of nothing; your disagreement is based on empirical data, even more important, you have suggested an action plan. Your objection is conscious of your manager’s passion and audacity, it also appreciates the end benefits the project holds for the team but it also profiles the risks involved, from a trend-analysis perspective and offers an action plan. With this insightful approach, you have, with clarity of presentation knit with wisdom and maturity, invited your manager to lessen his ego and reconsider the necessaries before going into the project.
By: Minister David Mills, HR & Leadership Centre
